How Do You Know If Your Spouse Is Cheating on You?

I was just recently discussing this very topic with an acquaintance, which for the first time since learning what I do for a living had the opportunity to sit and talk at length.

As with most people I socialize with for the first time after learning what I do, the subject soon changed to Cheating Spouses. The friend I was talking with, who was female, told me that she had been told by another woman that more women cheat on their men than men on women. She then continuing the statement with, the reason no one ever picks up on it is because women are smarter about it than men, which after I think about it may be entirely true!

True or not, spouses stray for a number of reasons; the bond between the spouses has eroded due to financial pressures, pressures at work, or pressures from the current family situation or even spending so much time at work that another relationship develops. Bottom line, for whatever reason they have become unhappy with some part of their current life situation and this is an avenue for escape, even if it’s only temporary. But over time this could change and be looked at
a way to a better life.

Those involved in the practice of infidelity, male or female, all have one thing in common; the need to practice deceit. As with anything else due to extensive practice or commitment to be successful, some are better at it than others.

As with anyone who is practicing infidelity, they must find opportunities to be away from the spouse and with the other someone. If the opportunities don’t present themselves through the natural course of events, then events must be manufactured to create the opportunity.

So what usually happens is you don’t pick up on the subtle change in behavior or interest change, but as time goes on you start to “FEEL’ like something is not right.

Rule #1 Trust Your Instincts - Where there’s smoke there is usually fire; or at least fire in the making.

• Has your spouse developed any new hobbies or habits (work or play) that take them out of the house more, or supposedly working more overtime?
• Has your spouse been keeping the inside of their vehicle cleaner lately, or have you gotten into the vehicle and noticed the scent of perfume or a new habit of using air fresheners?
• Is your spouse dressing up more or taking better care of themselves?
• Has your spouse changed their style of clothing?
• Has your spouse stopped wearing their wedding ring?
• Has your spouse mentioned any new friends lately?
• Is your spouse spending a lot more time on the Internet, when you go to bed?
• Has your spouse lost interest in sex with you or developed new preferences?
• Have you spent time talking with friends and acquaintances lately that are now closer to your spouse than you, and have acted a little strange around you now?
• Are you being discouraged from seeing the bank statements or cell phone bills anymore?
• Have you asked your spouse about suspicious activity only to be told the “It’s All In Your Head?
• Is your spouse getting phone calls on their cell phone during family time and the spouse leaves the room to talk?

May be nothing; could be something.....

Interestingly enough less than half of all men consider getting involved in sexual relationships over the Internet as infidelity. You can check out a site called Infidelity Check for statistics and information on how the Internet has opened up a whole new avenue for those looking for escape.

With infidelity, a lot of cases lead to divorce, in which case, what you don’t know can hurt you.  It is not unusual for a cheating spouse who is deciding on divorce to spend as much as a year before actually filing, for the purpose of hiding assets.

Regardless of whether you live in a community property state or not there will still be the incentive to hide assets, unless of course you are one of the select few that are in the financial position where you needed a prenuptial agreement as part of the marriage arrangement.

The situation regardless is the same, there are still trust issues that will need to be resolved.  There are emotional wounds that need to be healed if you are going to work it out. If there are children involved, the decisions become even more complicated.

Before you can do anything, you have to know where you stand and you can only do that by proving or disproving your suspicions.